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Young people of today have more freedom and opportunities than any previous generation. For some of them, however, this freedom of choice has brought about a longing for conservative values and traditional gender roles. In recent media discussions, voices have emerged from those who view the ideal relationship as one where the man is responsible for finances and decision-making, while the woman, outside the labour market, takes care of the home and children..

This is called the “tradwife” phenomenon, with reference to the traditional housewife model.

There is no institution that guarantees inactive wives more security than the normal income support in the event of a breakdown of a relationship. Domestic work does not accumulate a pension or earnings-related unemployment benefit. The family model is based solely on agreement and trust between the spouses. According to Statistics Finland, more than half of marriages end in divorce.  

What is a dream for some represents, for the majority, a dystopia that undermines gender equality, one from which women have only recently broken free e. One columnist has even compared women who dream about the domestic life to socialist work-evaders and societal free-riders. 

To get help and knock some sense into the heads of such women, some have turned to grandmothers who, in their youth, could only dream of the position women hold today.

For both the supporters of conservative intimate relationship models and the advocates of more equal ones, the past is a tool to be used, but both parties continue to interpret it from their own perspectives.

The golden era of the housewife after WWII

It is early evening in a suburban house in New York. Dinner is ready and the children are tidied up. Advertising executive Don Draper returns home from the City. His stylish wife Betty sets the table for her husband. They smoke together and talk about their day.

In the drama series Mad Men (2007–2015), which is set in post–World War II New York, the traditional family model is a constant presence. It was the golden era of the housewife, which has later accrued a patina of nostalgia. The strong economic growth enabled a larger number of families to live on their single-earner income. Up to then, the role of the housewife had been for the richest social spheres only.

In agrarian society, women, including mothers, handled not only the domestic chores but also a large share of work in the fields and caring for livestock. As industrialisation advanced, women were also increasingly needed in factories and the service sector. To earn their living, most families needed the contribution of both parents, not to mention that of the children.

However, post-war economic growth alone did not explain the rise in housewifery. 

Men returning from the war had to find jobs. Women had to give way. As the economic growth continued and daycare systems were developed, especially in the Nordic countries, women’s employment saw significant growth starting in the 1970s. And eventually even Betty Draper, who had grown up with traditional values, was not satisfied with her role as a housewife.

In a society based on equality, being a housewife isn’t obligatory

Opponents see the traditional model of marriage and the tradwife phenomenon as backward trends that will only weaken women’s position. Such a model raises fears that the phenomenon is gaining ground and will eventually become a norm. These fears, however, are baseless. Early on, independently earned and controlled income already played an essential role in women’s improved position. This in turn contributed significantly to overall economic development. In addition, equality between genders is a recent phenomenon, which has not yet been achieved everywhere. 

In Finland, married women have legally had the right of possession for less than a hundred years. The recent phenomenon of equality between genders continues to be fragile, and it remains a value that must be continually reinforced.

Calling on grandmothers to help is hardly the right way to achieve this, however.

Even though work has been important for the improvement of women’s position, to women in the past, it had more diverse meanings. To most women, work was a must, which might also have harsh consequences. They had to go to work in the fields or a factory, even if they had a baby who was breastfeeding. Working outside the home was probably linked to higher infant mortality rates, a mother at work could not breastfeed, and there were no infant formulas.

Before the 1900’s the subordinate position of women was also written into legislation. Nowadays, fortunately, it’s different: The law grants everybody the right of possession and autonomy whether they are employed or not. 

As long as society is based on the principles of equality, the effects of the trad wife phenomenon will remain individual.

The spread of the tradwife phenomenon and its potential to become a norm is feared, but as long as society is based on the principles of equality, the effects should remain at an individual level. The societal framework guarantees that the choice to remain a housewife remains a possibility, not something one is compelled to do.

A grandmother from yesterday would hardly blame the women of today

Appealing to nostalgia can be enticing, but it rarely gives a realistic picture of the past. Rather than judging, it may be more constructive to try to understand: What makes women dream about abandoning working life and thus their economic independence? What does such a desire say about this era?

Only through understanding can we find solutions. 

Domestic time management surveys show that a majority of household chores and childcare remain women’s responsibility. According to the study, mothers are the most exhausted in the most equal countries. Declining birth rates are a real problem for the dependency ratio in society. Could society do something to protect the security of life choices that are considered traditional?

In order for life choices perceived as traditional to remain individual, however, and not become a social norm, it is at the same time important to reinforce the fundamental structures of equality. This means, for example, support for women’s economic independence, an equal system for parental leaves, and narrowing the salary gap between genders. 

As long as society provides equal opportunities for all, dreams of being a housewife can manifest as individual choices without threatening the development of equality.

But if we return to the grandmothers for a moment, I doubt they would blame today’s women for having dreams of a more domestic life. I think they would understand. They would remember the toll that work, housekeeping and raising children took on them. Perhaps they would think wistfully about how nice it would have been to have had more time to be present for their children or even for themselves. But for them, the livestock were in the barn and the factory bell was ringing.

The writer, Riina Turunen, works as an Academy Research Fellow at the Department of History and Ethnology, Ģ��ֱ��. She is researching the role of women’s economic agency for the long-term development of the Finnish economy. You can follow Turunen’s research on the history of women’s work and wages in Finland via Instagram: @naistenansiot.